yungmickjagger

tumblr user: CAN *gif* WE *gif* JUST *gif* TALK *gif* ABOUT *gif* THIS *gif* FOR *gif* A *gif* MOMENT *gif* *gif *gif*

me: Chill

twink-phobia

all public school anti-bullying activism is extremely transparent and meaningless

sleepyflannel

faculty: BULLYING IS BAD!! ZERO TOLERANCE POLICY!! THIS IS A HATE FREE ZONE!!

me: hey this person called me a stupid dyke today

faculty: hmm that’s unfortunate. have you tried perhaps, not being gay?

p1ants

it’s hard 2 be sad about ur body when you think of it as a landscape. you don’t criticise a mountain for being too big, or a valley for being too winding, and no one ever complains about the vastness of the sea. u are part of the earth and u are so beautiful friends.

transparent-flowers

i love u

prokopetz

Bad: aliens that insist upon referring to human women as “feeeeemales”.

Good: aliens that insist upon dividing humans into binary categories, but the binary in question is based on something we’d regard as trivial and bizarre.

the-gender-enigma

pro cilantro and anti cilantro

theamazingsallyhogan

Just to screw with us they refer to have designated half the population as “edible” and the other half is “inedible.”

No intention of eating anyone, they just like how uncomfortable it makes everyone.

cerynn

Even better: the aliens all agree on who is edible and who is inedible, but the humans have no idea what the criteria is

ethantheheffalump

Even better: there is no criteria, the Aliens just keep a running list of whenever one member designated a human as edible or not. People are baffled because the selection appears random yet all the aliens are up to date, so there must be SOMETHJNG

jungwildeandfree

I love this because it implies the aliens possess either (1) a universal hive mind or (2) an intergalactic group chat dedicated to fucking with humanity 

morbidmanatee

“Hey guys Steve Johnson just laughed at my antennae he’s edible ok?”

“Yum yum Steve ribs”

whatdoyoumeantheresonly3episodes

cool cool cool but some people - definitely the younger generations - would for sure take offense if they weren’t deemed edible

like ‘you wanna eat steve but not me? what the fuck did I do’

bihalfling

are you trying to tell me i’m not a snack?

tema-time

I love this

witchella

Want a gf but I ain’t prepared… I’ve no land to give, no cattle…

c2oh

@ god, I did my time in poverty, I deserve money and a sugar parent.